i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize