i think my mom watched the whole time
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
