Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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