Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
