Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
