your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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