woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize