So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
