weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize