I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
