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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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