She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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