forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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