We won't sleep together?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
