did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
