She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
