if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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