i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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