You made me cry and you don't even care
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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