i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
