I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
