dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
