i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Randomize
