Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Randomize
