i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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