highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize