I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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