I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
