U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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