btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
