He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
