i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
