I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
