I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
