Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
