After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
