would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
