When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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