problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize