I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
