you win again, gameday.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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