and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
