mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
