Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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