Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
