I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
