You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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