ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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