Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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