did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Someone shit on the floor
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
