For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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