Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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