Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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