think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
