this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
