I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So many bounce houses so little time
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
