her vagine was all disorganized.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
