Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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