i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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