someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
