I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
tell me about the fingering
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