He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
